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What Does Your Blackhawks Jersey Say About You?

By The Second City | Jun 14, 2013

It’s not just a number. What does your Chicago Blackhawks jersey say about you?


Toews #19: “This is my first game, and the tag is still on my jersey. Go Toes!”

Kane #88: “Lincoln Park is my Shangri-La. After the game I’ll be at Stanley’s, pounding Bud Light Platinum.”

Amonte #10: “My mullet speaks to the years of suffering I spent waiting for this team to get good again.”

Probert #24: “Not only do I enjoy meth, but I will kill you as soon as look at you.”


Hull #9: “I am over 50, but I enjoy not being sober as much as the kids wearing #88. See ya at River Shannon after the game.”

Keith #2: “I keep my NHL dreams alive by playing beer league hockey at Johnny’s Ice House on Tuesday nights at 10:50 p.m.”

Sharp #10: “I am a lady.”

Hossa #81: “I bought my fiancee a Patrick Sharp jersey for her birthday last year.”


Chelios #7: “I remember when you could smoke in the concourse at the old stadium. My jersey is stained with tears and chili.”

Seabrook #7: “Hockey isn’t all about scoring goals. It’s about strong defense, crisp passes out of the defensive zone, and a good golf game in the off-season.”

Carcillo #13: “If you are wearing any other team’s sweater, I will fight you.”

Hjalmarsson #4: “I excel at spelling, enjoy different cultures and shop at Ikea.”

Shaw #65: “While guys use the urinal between periods at the United Center, I will scream and yell ‘Hawks’ at the top of my lungs directly in their ears.”

Saad #20: “Hi, my name is George. My brother Brandon gave me his game-worn jersey.”

Oduya #27: “I’m into white chicks.”

Belfour #30: “ I understand all that is good and true in life.”


Eager #55: “I blew 300 bucks on this thing. Stupid Free Agency.”

Byfuglien #33/#52: I once ate thirteen Juicy Beefs from Johnnie’s in Elmwood Park. In one sitting! Had an Italian ice to top it off, too!

And…what does your Bruins jersey say about you?

Chara #33: “I got my ass kicked  by a guy wearing a Carcillo jersey after watching Boston lose Game 1 to the Hawks.”


Scott Goldstein is a 3rd generation Blackhawks season ticket holder and a former Director for the National Touring Company of The Second City. When not screaming obscenities at the ice, he can be found directing, teaching and performing all over Chicago. Follow him on Twitter @GoldyHawks.

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