Netflix Genres We're in Dire Need Of

I’m an avid Netflix user and--despite threatening to cancel my account once in 2011 over Qwikster--I have no problem dishing out my hard-earned $7.99 a month.

The wonderful thing about the streaming service is that it provides me with personalized movie recommendations based on my viewing history. I actually wish it would get just a little more personal, above and beyond "Because you watched Sleepy Hollow." Here are some genres I hope the service plans on releasing soon.

Because you watched your boss belittle his assistant. Again.

Those bald micromanagers really know how to ruin a day/week/month/career. How about settling down for some flicks where the employees finally stand up and say enough is enough? Nothing beats sticking it to the corporate man like Sue Ellen Crandell quitting her job at the Clown Dog in Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead.

Because you’re watching yourself turn into your mother

This is for the “I think I’m staying in” on a Friday night crowd. These movies provide the perfect recipe for coming to terms with the fact that yes, Jennifer. You are turning into your mother, calves and all. Here you’ll get to check out some of your mom’s favorites, like Shanghai Noon or Shanghai Knights, because all moms love that Jackie Chan!

Because you checked online and, according to your symptoms, you’re dead.

What better way to settle in with the sniffles or salmonella poisoning than with some widespread pandemic virus movies? Grab a box of tissues, pop that penicillin and treat yourself to some Contagion.

Because you've watched your kids enough dammit and it's someone else's turn

The children have flown the coop to Grandma's this weekend and you and your bubby have full control over the remote. That means no more moody passive aggressive teen dramedies. Get the popcorn and dim the lights down low while you cuddle up with...Goosebumps.

Because you can’t generate the internal desire to workout without external motivation

A diet. A gym membership. OR..... these options will give you all the motivation you need to get out of your bed and over to the computer to purchase some workout clothes. Check out the gypsy diet in Stephen King’s Thinner! Or what happens when you’re not active in the Human Centipede.

Because what the hell are you doing with your life?

Comb through categories while you contemplate your current situation and your incessant need for a drastic life makeover. Think Megan Fox becoming a succubus from hell in Jennifer’s Body. Or everything in the Haim/Feldman classic License to Drive.

Because there's no presidential debate to watch tonight

Trump & Co live in action on old fashioned TV has been one hot mess not to miss! Unfortunately, debates aren't on every night. Get our old-man-full-of-hot air fix in an instant by just watching the part when Harrison Ford says “get off my plane!” in Air Force One.

Because Tom Hardy...

From nonstop thrill-ride action to ominous shots of him just standing around with bulging back muscles, this genre has it all. Get ready for him to never leave a car for 95 minutes in Locke or deliver a total of maybe three pages' worth of dialogue in Mad Max: Fury Road.

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Ryan Nallen is an actor, writer and improviser in Chicago. He is a graduate of iO, The Second City Conservatory and the Annoyance Theater.