by The Second City
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Jan 15, 2014
Whether it’s Big Game Sunday or just a regular lonely Sunday, Velveeta has always been there for us… until now.
Kraft’s recent confirmation of a nationwide shortage of our favorite (processed) cheese (product) has forced us to horde those precious last remains in our fridge… until now.
Presenting our best Velveeta shortage recipes.
Take your Grandmother’s most famous dish– whether it’s pie or meatloaf– and add Velveeta! Everyone will enjoy!
Cook macaroni noodles in pan while heating one loaf Velveeta cheese in another. Drain the water from the noodles; combine both pans. Enjoy!!!!!!!!!
Melt 1 block Velveeta cheese in a crock pot. Throw in a few tomato pieces and some garlic powder. Grab chips and ENJOY!!
Preheat oven to 300°. Roll out canned pizza dough and put hunks of Velveeta on it. Put in oven for 15 minutes. Ennnnnjoy!
Preheat oven to 300°. Roll out canned pizza dough and punch a tomato into it. Put pieces of Velveeta on top; bake for 15 minutes. Ennnnnjoy DELUXE!
Cut Velveeta into chunks; arrange on a tray. Enjoy enjoying!
Melt 2 blocks Velveeta in a large pot. Grab a spoon and enjoy!!!
Take several bites from the “cheese” block. Repeat 2-3 times a day. Try to enjoy. Be unable, due to brain chemistry.
Alan Linic is an alum of The Second City Training Center’s House Ensembles and a Conservatory graduate. Claire Meyer is currently a member of Twisty, an official Second City Training Center House Ensemble, which performs Saturday nights at 9:00 p.m. in the De Maat Theatre. You can follow their fights on Twitter@WeFoughtAbout.
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