How Gay Is Your Presidential Candidate?

By The Second City | Mar 1, 2016


Candidate: Ben Carson

Why He's Gay: Carson has that slightly feminine, "we're going to paint a pretty little tree" Bob Ross voice and seems--at first glance--like a gentle, very elderly twink.

Why He's Not: Have you seen his book cover?



Possibly the least gay image in human history.   

Gay Friendliness: Carrie's Mom in the Movie ‘Carrie,’ But to Gays

  • Thinks pro-gay judges should be fired; no word on what he thinks of pro-creationist neurosurgeons.
  • Stated that people turn gay because of prison, which is false--we turn gay because of prancing
  • Once made a “joke” about anti-gay bakers poisoning gay wedding cakes
  • Has compared being gay to polygamy and beastiality

What Gay Voters Need to Ask: “Do you know what a ‘bear orgy’ actually is, Dr. Carson?”

Overall Gay Rating: Michelle Duggar Punching a Trans Teen in the Face

Next: Ted Cruz --->

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