5 Signs That “YAS QUEEN” Is Probably Not For You

By The Second City | May 25, 2016

Yas Queen,” or “Yas Kween,” as it is known in the Eastern region of the United States, is the coolest phrase in the world. Ever. But that means it might be too cool for you. While this is a bitter pill to swallow, it’s better to find out now and not at an important social gathering.
Here are five signs that “Yas Queen” is not for you:

You Just Heard the Phrase Yesterday

I get it. You’re busy. You’ve got groceries to buy, you want to stay ahead of 2017’s tax season, and you need to finally get around to cracking open that Rosetta Stone CD-ROM. It’s not like you are devoid of pop culture, but take into consideration your current pop culture intake and outlook.

It’s nice to feel like you are part of the gang because your Netflix queue is full, but that’s only because “M*A*S*H” was really long. Did you also recently ask, “Why is Batman fighting Superman anyway?” “Yas Queen” might be out of your wheelhouse. But “M*A*S*H” is pretty great, right?

You’re the Boss

If you are the boss at your job, kudos to you! But as the boss, it might be best to avoid this phrase. The median age for “Yas Queen” is 23 years old and requires having other interests that include Warby Parker and the ability to live in Japan for a year “just because.”

Enjoying “Yas Queen” at work is best left to the new intern. How cool is that guy? How great is the name Jensen? If I say “Yas Queen” right after him, would that be weird? I don’t want to be “weird boss.” I had a weird boss once, and I feel like I am going to become one any minute now. Maybe I can get away with “cool beans.” My old boss said “cool beans.” I hate “cool beans.”

You Used to Say “Wazzup” A Lot

And “booya-ca-cha,” like all the time. Did you even do those phrases justice? “Yas Queen” would have similar results. Tread lightly to avoid embarrassment, and do not start using trendy phrases if you haven’t ever done it before. It’s like suddenly wearing a fedora at 32. Some people aren’t fedora people no matter how hard they try. Just go on that trip to Maine you’ve been planning. Maine is cool, I guess. Should I bring the fedora? I’ll just pack it.

You Actually Live in England

Do you actually live in the UK and are ruled by Queen Elizabeth? Better still, do you personally work for her and mostly offer up affirmations on a routine basis? If this is the case, you might want to stick with “yes, Your Highness” rather than “Yas Queen.” But my guess is you can probably say “Yas Queen” when you are with your “blokes” at the “pub.” Everything sounds cooler there. Not that I would know. I’m only spending time in Maine, remember?

You’re Really Busy

How does your week look? Are you too busy to teach a guy how to pull off a phrase like “Yas Queen”? It doesn’t have to be “Yas Queen.” It can be something of equal value. I can do Friday. How’s Friday? Good? Cool beans! Dammit.

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Ryan Hanley is an aspiring improviser currently residing in New York. He has worked with several New England-based troupes and is now furthering his craft at the UCB Training Center. You can follow him on Twitter @hanleyforhire.

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