Select Your Location

Shopping for Beyoncé’s Ivy Park Queenwear: A Timeline

By Becca Stahl | Apr 14, 2016

7:00am: Woke up feeling like a queen. Use my morning routine as a hype session, mentally and emotionally preparing myself to throw down in the name of Beyoncé-endorsed athleisure outfits.

8:00am: Make a hero’s breakfast (egg whites and sriracha). Eat lean protein while chanting “a diva is a female version of a hustler” over and over. Boyfriend is appropriately terrified.

8:15am: Take my dog for a walk and pick up after him. I may be a diva, but I’m not a dick.

9:12am: Arrive at my office in downtown Chicago. Avoid eye contact with every employee entering my office building. I’m in the zone.

9:52am: Bail early on a meeting so I can get in line at the Nordstrom on Michigan Ave.

9:58am: Saunter into Nordstrom. Am immediately horrified, as the store looks like it’s been open for the last three hours. Beyoncé is basically taunting me.


9:59am: Have an actual panic attack on the escalator to the 4th floor (WHY!?), where they are installing her collection.

10:01am: Pop off the escalator elbows out. I am so ready.

10:02am: Realize that there are only about 15 other women here, and they are all behaving like reasonable human beings. Freeze in place to ensure that my Beyoncé-rage stays in check.

10:04am: Start shopping. I am offered help by at least four sales associates who are clearly waiting for the crazy-dam to break on this calm group of shoppers. I can literally smell their fear (and their jealousy; they aren’t allowed to buy anything from the collection until 1pm).

10:15am: Enter dressing room. Everything is black, white, and grey. This is my Mecca. I have seen God, and her name is Beyoncé.


10:25am: Start bonding with the other ten women in the dressing room. We are swapping outfits and telling each other how good we look. This has been a real rollercoaster of emotions.

10:53am: Make my Sophie’s Choice about what I’m going to buy. I might have to come back later for a pair of the softest shorts I’ve ever touched. Say goodbye to my new best friends and head to the check out.


11:02am: Basically dance out of the store.

11:03am: Thank myself for being smart enough to order the signature body suit online at midnight last night. That thing was already gone when I got there.

11:04am: Thank Beyoncé for encouraging all of us to embrace our inner professional dancer, and dress accordingly.


Becca Stahl is Content Development Manager at Second City Works.

Hilarious Right? Follow the Second City For More