Dear Mr. Shkreli,
Hello, Martin! How are you holding up these days? I see that you’ve switched your Twitter feed over to “private,” so that’s pretty exciting.
I don’t want to waste your time, Mr…
“OH YEAH! Guess whose Step Dad came home early with KFC! OH NO! ALSO! Guess who was watching Anime Porn when he walked in!”
#EpicJackSession #Mac&Cheese #ThingsToTalkAboutInTherapy”
“B-FML! Did I really just get dumped on a text WHILE getting pulled over on my way to my niece’s cat’s funeral?
#restinpeaceMrSkittles #facepalm #3rdStrike #Ozzie”
“To the lady who got me fired from my job at Fashion Bug. You’re right. I DID ‘fart all up on the scarf’ you bought. And, no, I CAN’T help it. Next time it WILL be on purpose.
#regret nothing #hatersgonnahate #cuervosundaynight”
Barry Hite has performed sketch and improv at Chicago Sketch Fest, Just For Laughs, iO, UCB, and Rahm Emanuel’s Inauguration. He is currently a staff writer for the Onion’s live sketch show. His first one-man show, So Very Important, was a Time Out Critics Pick. His second solo show debuted at Chicago Sketch Fest and will open later this year. He is a writer for the Second City Network. “Select credits include: Family Tree House Boat Accident, DBaG, and Holy F#ck Comedy Hour. He is an alum of the Second City Touring Company.