El Niño–the wayward drunk cousin of weather patterns–is upon us, unleashing worldwide environmental devastation…
The recent revelations in the Manti Te’o debacle have raised a lot of questions.
1) Is this poor young man the victim of an elaborate hoax or was he in on it to gain publicity?
2) Why did he wait so long to come forward?
3) How can a man fall in love with a woman he never even fingered?
These are all valid questions and whatever the answers it doesn’t appear that there will be any winners coming out of this scenario. Except one: the Philosophy Department of Notre Dame (assuming they have one, these essays don’t pay enough for proper research). This situation raises some profound philosophical questions.
1) Is death and non-existence the same thing?
2) Can someone fall in love with an entity that doesn’t exist?
3) If so, does a non-existent entity that is loved have some kind of life in a non-physical realm?
These are deep questions that can keep egg-heads and pot-heads talking for hours. Assuming Mr. Te’o is completely innocent and he is a hapless victim in all of this, one big question still remains; if this guy can fall in love with someone he never met is he more likely to overcommit to the run on play-action passes?
Ed Furman is a Second City alumni and a co-founder of the Annoyance Theater. He is a playwright and co-authored the hits Co-ed Prison Slutsand Rod Blagojevich: Superstar.