How to React to Your Boyfriend’s Christmas Present

By The Second City | Dec 24, 2013

From a young age, we’re taught to smile and say “thank you,” no matter what we open on Christmas morning. If that gift happens to be from your boyfriend, you need a real plan as to what happens after. How do you react to your boyfriend’s Christmas present?

Here are a couple tips from our hearts to yours.

Merry Christmas!

You Open: A basket of lavender-scented bath salts, shower gel and bubble bath.

How To React: Be sure to ask his mother where she found them.

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You Open: A mint condition original Furby.

How to React: Very, very carefully. They can sense fear.

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You Open: A gift card

How To React: He is trying to get you to break up with him. We suggest doing so.

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You Open: A Walk To Remember on Blu-Ray

How To React:  Prepare everyone, especially yourself, for your ugly cry.

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You Open: A plain sweater that he said “reminded him of you.”

How To React:  Silently wonder for the rest of your life what he meant by that.

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You Open: Keys to his basement storage.

How To React: Come to terms with the fact that he’s a serial killer; decide how much of a turn-off that is for you personally.

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You Open: The same cookie jar your grandmother had when you were growing up.

How To React: Start fantasizing about what your grandchildren will look like, because it’s ON now.

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You Open: A brand new pair of men’s size 11 Nike Air Max Tailwind 6s.

How To React: Hand them over in defeat. Pretend not to remember you got him tickets to Cirque Du Soleil last year... even though he asked for those sneakers.

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You Open: A Cheese of The Month Club membership

How To React: Suddenly realize this man loves you and knows you better than anyone else ever will.

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You Open: A waaaaaay more thoughtful and expensive gift than you gave him.

How To React: Run. Just Run.

Alan Linic is an alum of The Second City Training Center’s House Ensembles and a Conservatory graduate. Claire Meyer is currently a member of Twisty, an official Second City Training Center House Ensemble, which performs Saturday nights at 9:00 p.m. in the De Maat  Theatre. You can follow their fights on Twitter@WeFoughtAbout

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