‘Star Wars’ mania came to The Second City.
Recently, presidential hopeful Hillary Clinton promised that, if elected, she would appoint a Cabinet composed of at least 50% women. A fun spin on Mitt Romney’s 2012 “binders full of women,” Hillary’s cabinet full of women, if realized, will be record-setting, passing the 41% precedent set by her husband during his second term.
So, who will fill out the former First Lady’s advisory board if she’s elected? We could make some educated guesses, but here are some fun suggestions we might personally email to HRod:
Vice President Beyoncé Knowles-Carter
Has a nice ring to it, huh? In the event that the president is no longer able to serve, she will be replaced by the VP, and who better to have second in command than the Queen Bey herself? She’s strong, smart, (Sasha) fierce, and, after listening to Lemonade, seems to have a lot in common with Hillary.
Secretary of State Michelle Obama
Who can promote prosperity and happiness between nations more successfully than Michelle Obama? That lady is a goddess, and if her smarts and beauty can’t coerce peace, her triceps sure as hell can. Also, let’s just agree from now on to appoint the Obamas to every cabinet forever so they can NEVER LEAVE US.
Secretary of the Interior RuPaul
Because “if you don’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?” Is that the interior we’re talking about?
Secretary of Agriculture Tabasco
It’s not pandering if she moves the hot sauce from her bag into her Cabinet.
Secretary of the Treasury Suze Orman
This b*tch could scare anyone into getting their finances in order, and we know the US could stand to save a few Tubmans. Also, like Clinton, she was first in the public eye back in the ‘90’s! Neat!
Secretary of Education Laverne Cox
MAYBE SHE AND ATTORNEY GENERAL LORETTA LYNCH CAN GO DOWN TO NORTH CAROLINA AND “TEACH” THOSE F*CKS A THING OR TWO, YEAH?
Secretary of Labor Monica Lewinsky
Keep your friends close and your enemies closer. I’m kidding. Homegirl was manipulated by the PRESIDENT and deserves a shot at a legitimate career that doesn’t involve reality television or hawking diet programs.
Secretary of Commerce Lin-Manuel Miranda
A-Ham himself knows better than anyone how to sell a product that the masses will completely devour. Yeah, he’s a man, but she only said 50%– and Hamilton was in charge of a trading charter at the age of fourteen, so I’m SURE LMM would not only be able to handle it but would also not throw away his shot at this chance to WORK, WORK!
Sorry, I left my Hamilton keyboard on.