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Ash Wednesday is for Lovers

By: Liz Kozak | Feb 18, 2015 Comments

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Ash Wednesday is so overlooked as a major holiday, which is crazy, since it’s the most romantic day in February! Tired of year after year of disappointing A-Days? Try these spicy ways to make sure your Lent kick-off is one your lover will never forget.

Wake your partner up with a resurrection

Resurrection-Morning

He just might reciprocate with a second coming.

Take a romantic bath

Light a dangerous amount of scented candles, fill the tub with champagne and play songs of your youth (like Sublime’s “Caress MeDown”).

Be spontaneous

Go to the airport and take the cheapest flight you can find. Enjoy Kansas!

Plan a scavenger hunt for your lover

The last clue leads to your privates, which you have had professionally groomed to look like his/her face. They’ll appreciate the attention to detail while making out with their hair-self.

Redecorate 

There is nothing a man or woman likes more than a room full of red and pink hearts and streamers. But why not take it a bit further? I’m talking flowers, I’m talking wedding dresses, I’m talking murder-suicide pact contracts in case it doesn’t work out.

Book a mammogram 

Then there’s 100% chance them titties getting touched on this, the most romantic of days.

Send my mom a present

It’s her birthday, and I always forget.

Plant a tree

When in doubt, plant a tree. This somehow makes it onto a lot of lists. I don’t know anyone who does this for fun.

You know what? I was thinking of Valentine’s Day. It’s Ash Wednesday? Weeelp, ash on my face. In that case, why don’t you just enjoy a quiet meal at a nice restaurant–since it’s the one thing you really can’t do on Valentines Day—and it’ll be real easy to book a table while everyone else is busy fasting.

Andel Sudik has performed improv at iO, the Playground and the Annoyance and sketch comedy at Second City on a cruise ship, in theatricals, with the National Touring Company and on the e.t.c. stage. She is an alumni of Boom Chicago in Amsterdam, currently teaches sketch and improv in Chicago and occasionally writes things while looking out her window at the lake. Follow her on twitter @AndelSudik or check out her website andelsudik.com. 

 

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