Behind Every Great Man is a Great Woman... Who Is Blocking Our View of Another Great Man

By The Second City | Aug 12, 2016

Hey, Olympians who are female--way to go!

You’ve shattered that glass ceiling!

You make up 45% of the athletes competing in Rio this year, the highest-ever percentage in any Olympic Games.  But let’s not forget who got you there. The road to success is paved with the blood and sweat of all the great dudes who helped you along the way.  I’m looking at you, Corey Cogdell, or should I say Mrs. Chicago Bears Lineman?  Without your husband, you’d just be a two-time Olympic medalist.  

So let’s applaud all the other guys helping these women on their paths to victory!

Francis Scott Key

Thanks to this slave-owning white dude from the 19th century whose greatest triumph was writing our national anthem and fighting abolitionists, Gabby Douglas is getting all kinds of media attention. Nevermind she was the Olympic All-Around Gold Medalist in 2012 and is piling on even more hardware in Rio.  Instead of focusing on her athletic battle, she’s defending herself against claims she is not patriotic enough (She stood reverently for the "Star Spangled Banner," instead of putting her hand over her heart.)

Because representing your country with grace, aplomb and strength doesn’t scream "I love America!!!" loudly enough.

Sean Abrams, 'Maxim' contributor 

These elite, talented competitors have spent years perfecting their skills in preparation for their true moment of glory: making Maxim’s list of the 10 Hottest Female Olympians, curated by one Sean Abrams.  Sure, the endless and grueling training had the nice side effect of making Brazilian volleyballer Jacqueline Carvalho a two-time gold medalist, but the true reward for all that hard work was her banging bod.  

Because the Olympics are only once every four years, but the male gaze lasts a lifetime. Or at least until a younger group of females come along in 2020.

Michael Phelps, circa 2006

Without the touching image of Michael Phelps signing an autograph for 9-year-old Katie Ledecky in 2006, we wouldn’t have the backstory we need to understand why one of the greatest athletes of all time, an actual world record holder, started swimming.  

Because 2016 Michael Phelps isn’t getting enough media coverage.

Al Trautwig, sportscaster

This NBC sports commentator put the focus right where it needed to be--on the irrelevant minutia about who Simone Biles' parents are or are not.  It finally got people talking about the Olympian, whose vault and floor routines crushed so hard that she delivered her team a round of gold medals by a record-setting margin and has been declared the Greatest Gymnast Ever in the History of Gymnastics.

Nice work Al!

Sportscasters Jim Watson, Peter Mansbridge, Dan Hicks, Rowdy Gaines, Carsten Sostmeier, Han Qiaosheng and Byron MacDonald

This esteemed group is responsible for reminding us all that these female competitors are great athletes, but also women, so let’s not forget that these gals are ladies, too...

And did we mention that they're women?

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Liz Reuss is a Chicago-based writer and actor.  Follow her @liz_reuss.

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