CUBS!!! JNKJLKASDH FO87HAY (*&@#p(*rujtgRT;IO8(y!!!!!!!!

Oh. Oh, man. Phew!

Did you see? Oh my God. Is that? No more outs? Win? Win Happen?

Hold on. Breathing too hard. Okay.

GRANDPA! He always wanted to see this! I...I can’t.

Sorry! Oh, sorry. I produce a lot of snot when I cry. Oh God, there’s so much of it. I’m a mess. Do you have a tissue? Yes, a beer is fine.

This is good. This is helping. They won! THEY WON! Is this real? Pinch me. No wait, I’ve been drinking, punch me. As hard as you can punch me.

OW! Augh mah gahd I tink mah jaw is duhtatched! Ish real! Ish rally real! 108 yearsh! WEH DID UHT!

Hey, can you pop thish bach in?

OW! Thanks for popping my jaw back into its socket. Do you have an ice pack? Yes, a beer is fine. Who are you? Have we met? Hug me. Hug everybody. I have to go and hug everybody. This. is. Amazing. Bye. I love you. I love everything.

Hi! CUBBIES! What? Oh, that’s just snot on my shirt from crying. Oh, that? Why yes, it seems I did pee my pants. Do you have a towel? Yes, a shot of whiskey is fine. Okay, see you later!

Sweet Jesus. I lived to see it. I never thought I’d see this. I’m hyperventilating. I love everyone here. Sweet Lord. Ah ha ha! Yeah! YEAH! WE DID IT I FEEL AMAZING!

Ah, shit--there’s an election next week. I’m going home.

...Which way is up again?

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Peter Kremidas is a graduate of The Second City Conservatory, The Severn Darden Graduate program where he performed with Bluff, The School at Steppenwolf, iO, and The Annoyance.